Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Holy Meltdowns, Are you Serious?

What is it with Wednesdays??!!! In my house these days are filled with meltdowns and tantrums from my kids and myself. I can feel my stress level bubbling over to the brink of insanity. My four year old started in on me this morning at 6:45 am because he couldn't get crayons to stick to a plastic cup with a glue stick because he wanted to make a craft he saw Clinton Kelley create on The Chew. Are you serious!!!!???


Then it was double the cries and fights with the twins would decided to get up extra early today. Both Hailey and Travis decided that eating their breakfast at the table was so not cool and absolutely needed to eat their Pillsbury Flaky biscuits while walking through my clean house. The clan of three followed me down to the basement/play room/gym where I jumped on the treadmill hoping to get maybe 30 minutes in. I was wrong. By minute 24, the three were arguing and screaming over utensils in the play kitchen. Even though there are about 22 pieces they were fighting over the same damn spoon. Are you serious?


Double cries and fights turned into double poops just as we were leaving to take Brax to school. Double diaper changes are never fun and one of my least favorite things about having twins. There you are with one twin trying to not let him/her get grab happy with their dirty diaper or their privates while you try to play defense against another twin that is trying to steal wipes or step on their sibling's face. And don't ever EVER forget to throw both dirty diapers away before leaving for school drop off because you will come home to it devoured and scattered across the living room by a furry white 9 pound goblin. Are you serious?


Thinking that after my daughter has successfully eaten apple sauce pouches a number of times, she would be able to eat one this morning after she swiped one from their snack pack in the car and screaming at me as I tried to take it away. But NOOOO, not today. After I unscrewed it she squeezed the pouch and let the purple-brownish slurry ooze down her shirt and (fittingly)
across the word PRINCESS embroidered on her shirt. Are you serious?


After school drop off I seriously contemplated just sitting in my car in the driveway just because the twins were actually being quiet. I should have because the second they were out of their seats the screams ensued and the fights began as soon as their little feet touched the garage cement. They then scattered up the stairs into the house and made a beeline for the backdoor. Once outside the twosome investigated their nature findings quietly. I thought I was in the clear until a signature Travis scream cut through the air and they were once again fighting over a peanut that had fallen out of the squirrel feeder. Are you serious?


To break up the fight and possibly advert attention from one another I gave each little spawn a cup of Cheerios. Mistake. 93 seconds later they were pulling at one another and the cups along with the coveted Cheerios were flying across the deck. Picking each one up around the waist I hurried in side to avoid having the whole neighborhood hear my great parenting skills. Are you serious?


Once inside I stuck a blueberry protein muffin in each of their hands and we headed to the all empowered Play Room. Still no progress. God forbid I sit in a chair by myself, or one play with a car that we don't have a double of, or just accepting that both can be in the ball pit at one time. Nope, nope, nope. So now I sit here at 10:25 am with Hailey crying over Travis taking her computer and Travis crying over slipping over a magazine as he ran to escape with the computer. Are you serious?


Happy Meltdown Wednesday, is it Funny Friday yet??

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